If you’re thinking that you’ll just wake up one day and be the person you imagine yourself to be, you’re wrong. Personal Development happens when you take action every single day. Even on the bad days! You may be asking, “well how do I be intentional with self growth and better myself?” I’m going to walk you through a few tips on how to make self growth a daily priority.
As an Amazon Associate I may earn from qualifying purchases made through links in this blog post, at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I truly love and use
Before I found personal development,
I was a young mom who thought I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. But in reality, I struggled daily with crippling anxiety, people pleasing, and always putting myself last. I thought that to be a better person I needed to make everyone around me happy, even if that meant I was unhappy.
What I’ve learned through personal development, is that I’m supposed to be the only one I really worry about (besides my kids of course).
Other peoples happiness is not my problem nor my job to fix.
Happiness comes from within. No one can make you happy if you’re not happy with yourself.
I also learned that other peoples opinions can not take a front row seat in my life. My actions should not be based on other people. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to be in my life. It’s as simple as that.
And that includes parents, family, and friends.
So how do you learn to make yourself happy?
There are lots of ways to improve your happiness and start being intentional with self growth. The great thing about personal development is that you can individualize it to fit your needs.
When I started my personal development journey, I kind of just stumbled across it on Pinterest. To help cope with my anxiety, which you can read about here, I would always search for positive quotes to help calm my mind.
I’m not sure what the first post I saw was, but I remember reading about personal development and self growth and my mind was like, “woah..you mean I actually have to work on being a better person? It’s not going to just happen by pleasing everyone around me? And I can help my anxiety in the process??”
I really, truly thought that we just get better with age! And I thought crippling anxiety was something I just had to deal with forever.
Well my friend, that’s not the case. And if you think about it, there are lots of 40 something year olds with the same mindset, same drama, and same thoughts as early twenty something year olds.
That’s because they were never intentional about self growth and improvement.
But, it’s never too late to start.
And if you’re dealing with anxiety as well, it is not something that has to have control over your life forever.
Self improvement tip #1
Remember to not give up.
It’s not going to be easy. You’re going to have days when you just want to say F*** it and go back to your old ways. But don’t do it.
The world needs more YOUs. We need more people who want to do better, who want to be better. We can’t stop ourselves from being better human beings just because the people around us don’t understand it or get mad when we cut off their toxic energy.
Which will happen.
You will start to realize that the people you surround yourself with matters.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Roll around in sh*t and you’re going to stink”?
Ok, it may just be a southern thing, but it rings true.
If you hang around with stinky, shitty people…you’re bound to act like those stinky, shitty people. Those people are not good for your self improvement journey or well being.
If they don’t want to join you on your journey of self growth, it’s time to let them go.
Self improvement tip #2
Practice gratitude every day.
It’s easy to be negative and think about everything that goes wrong in your life. But what about the positive?
It’s usually more difficult to have positive thoughts and remember the bright side of things. One of the ways to help you stay positive is to start a gratitude journal.
I try to do my gratitude thinking and writing early in the morning when I first wake up.
When I wake up with a hot cup of coffee, the peace & quiet (before the kids are up), and being thankful for what I have in life – my day starts out so much more positive and happy. I feel uplifted and my energy is on another level.
If I start feeling down, I just grab my journal and look at all of the things I have to be grateful for.
Self improvement tip #3
Spend less time on social media and more time reading.
I talk about this one a lot. Social media can be so detrimental to our mental health.
We see everyone posting the good and positive going on in their lives, and we wonder why they never have anything bad happen to them like it does to us. But the thing is, they do have bad things happen to them. But the majority of people keep that side of their life private.
So you need to spend less time watching everyone else, and more time living your own life. If you find yourself bored and wanting to scroll Facebook to pass the time, grab a good book instead and get back to basics.
One of the ways to practice personal development is by reading positive, self improving material.
If you’re a mom of young kids and it’s just too hard to find the time to sit down and read (I feel ya) or just prefer to listen, try Audible by Amazon. You can listen to books while washing dishes, driving to the school pick up line, or have it going while taking a shower. It’s so easy to throw in an earbud and start a load of laundry at the same time.
I made a goal to myself to read more books in 2020. It took me two months to finally pick up a hard copy book, but when I did – I was so immersed in it. I was reminded of my middle school days when I couldn’t put a book down for nothin’!
I find myself walking to the kitchen holding my book and still reading while making the kids a pb&j. It’s a wonderful feeling honestly.
Right now, I’m currently reading Homeschool Bravely. We recently started homeschooling which you can read more about here, but I highly recommend this book if you are homeschooling or have ever considered it.
Self improvement tip #4
Stop taking everything so personally and learn to compromise.
Look, we learned this when we were little, we’re not always going to get our way. If we want to improve ourselves we have to learn to compromise with those around us. Especially your spouse if you have one.
We can’t spend our time always trying to argue that it’s our way or no way and live a positive lifestyle. When you learn to compromise, you’re saying that you care about the other person’s thoughts – and feelings – and you care about what they have to say as well.
It’s unfortunately not all about us. Bummer I know. Because I totally thought the world revolved around me for a while. It was a tough life trying to please everyone but still thinking that everything was supposed to be going my way.
But seek resolution with people and you’ll see how much faster your problems can be resolved.
This is one of those really tough ones to break. You just have to keep this in mind and the next time you’re arguing with someone, remind yourself to calm down and seek a compromise.
If there is no compromise to be found, continue the conversation later once you’ve had time to calm down and gather your thoughts.
Self Improvement tip #5
Start doing what you love.
If you haven’t learned this already, it’s time to start. Have you ever veered away from your dreams and your hobbies because someone else had a “better” plan for you? Or maybe because you thought you should follow the crowd instead of your head? Or maybe you thought that dream wasn’t possible for you?
Stop that thought process immediately. Do you know why you were given this life?
So you can be you.
You were not created to be a carbon copy of those 4 people you associate with. Or those people who say college is the only way. Or those people who say you’ll never make it “in that industry”.
The world needs you to be you. Whatever it is that you love, you love that thing for a reason. The first step to self growth is to follow your calling and doing what you love. It’s called self growth for a reason right?
So whether it be a hobby, a career path, volunteering, making art, singing, or whatever it is – do what’s good for your soul.
Self improvement tip #6
Use your mistakes as an opportunity to grow.
It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves and focus on all of the mistakes we’ve made in the past. But if you start looking at all of those mistakes as life lessons, you’ll be a much more positive, knowledgeable person.
You will see that you can grow from those mistakes and you’ll stop being so hard on yourself.
And just because you’ve made mistakes in the past, that doesn’t mean you’ll keep repeating the same actions. You will continue to make mistakes but you’ll overcome and learn from them.
Mistakes are lessons along the way. Use them as opportunities for growth.
Do you feel the self improvement already happening?
These 6 tips for self growth are not all that it takes. No, it takes much more. But this is the perfect start. Continue on your journey of personal development and don’t let any negativity stand in your way.
You are your biggest cheerleader and you deserve to love the life you live. Start living for you.