I’m laying in my bed, trying to fall asleep, and my next thought is, “maybe tomorrow I can sit in my chair with the rain and start writing my next blog post..”
Then I laugh to myself. Yeah right like I’m going to get to sit down for a few minutes during the day and write. The baby is teething so he’ll want to be picked up and put down 500 times while crying because he can’t decide what he wants. Plus I’ll be breaking up fights between the older two and saying no to 50 back to back snacks, all while answering the 500 other questions they’re firing at me.
This is the life of a mom.
Everything we do is centered around them. Our needs and wants are always put last.
Here I am, laying in bed wide awake at midnight after finishing my housework, and I know this is the only quiet time I’ll have for myself.
I know I should be sleeping, and yes I’ve tried, but I know this is something I won’t have again for another 24 hours.
So I take advantage. I grab my phone to start writing and toss sleep out the window.
Because this is therapeutic for me. Writing is what I love to do. And I love to do it in a clear, quiet headspace.
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So midnight it is.
Throughout the day, I’m tired and I get frustrated but putting my needs last always comes so naturally.
Sometimes I’ll sigh…or grunt…because let’s be honest it can get annoying.
But that’s what moms do.
It’s what we’re made to do.
Our children come before us, no matter what.
And I love it.
I love how selfless mothers are.
But we don’t always see how selfless we are.
We just continue to mom guilt ourselves after complaining out loud that we have no space, peace, or time for ourselves…until midnight when we should be sleeping.
We complain but would any of us really change it?
No, because that would mean those little humans didn’t need us.
Or it would mean that those little humans weren’t here.
And we NEED them to need us.
We need them here.
They are what keep us going. They are what give us hope when we have none left.
They are the ones who make us smile after a tear rolls down our cheek.
They are the ones who can light up our day with just a small giggle.
Those little humans give us life every day just as much as we gave them theirs.
And we love them for that.
So I will take the constant nagging, crying, and lack of personal space.
I will continue staying up until midnight for the quiet time I need.
Because my children are my top priority, and that means I truly am putting my heart first.