Today I realized something. It was after a thought entered my head and then another immediately slapped me in the face. I’m going to tell you about the bitch slap I got today. It was a good bitch slap though, that I definitely needed, so don’t worry.
To start, whenever I sit down to do a sudoku puzzle, or to watch Friends on Netflix, or do anything else that makes me happy during my short few minutes of free time…I tend to feel like I’m wasting time.
Like I shouldn’t be doing this because I should be doing something more “productive”.
But… what am I wasting? And who says I’m wasting it?
Am I wasting these 10 minutes doing a puzzle when I should be doing more dishes? The dishes that’ll be piled right back up 10 hours later?
Am I wasting time watching Netflix when I could be reorganizing the pantry?
Who exactly told me I can’t do these things I enjoy? When did I start believing that I have to be in constant “chore mode”?
Today I realized that life is supposed to be LIVED.
I realized that life will go on whether I’m doing the dishes or doing a sudoku puzzle.
I realized that we are allowed to have hobbies. We are allowed to sit on the patio and do nothing.
I’ve realized that it’s ok to not be attached to our phones all day. Don’t worry, those messages will still be there later when you check them.
I realized that we don’t have to spend every moment of our lives doing chores or running errands. We don’t have to spend our entire lives not doing what makes us happy.
I am so guilty of thinking that I’m not allowed any leisure time. I feel so guilty when I have that leisure time and I decide to do something for me.
But today, as I was doing my sudoku puzzle, that guilt started to enter my mind and then another part of me came in quickly and slapped it right down
I was sitting at my desk really focused because I was having a hard time completing the puzzle. All of a sudden I said to myself, “why are you wasting time doing this when the dryer just beeped?”
And then the other me popped in and was like, “No, ya know what? Hell no. Do you think that 70 year old man you saw earlier regrets sitting outside alone doing his puzzle and soaking up some vitamin D?”
And that’s when it hit me.
LIFE IS MEANT TO BE ENJOYED.
We are meant to enjoy this life we are living. In any way we see fit.
If that means I sit down for an hour and watch Netflix uninterrupted (ok interrupted because #momlife) then I’m going to do it.
I feel like in this day and age everything is go, go, go and spend, spend, spend, and scroll, scroll, and scroll.
I’m tired of being withheld to these imaginary standards. I’m tired of living life according to how other people see fit.
I’m tired of telling myself I can’t sit and watch a movie with the kids because I have to sweep the floor, AGAIN.
I’m tired of scrolling social media constantly because if I don’t I might miss that Karen’s cat did a cute new trick today.
I realized that the only thing that I’m guilty of is letting this go on for far too long.
I want to be that mom that sits outside while the kids play. I want to be the mom who does boring sudoku puzzles because it makes ME happy.
I want my family to be as screen free as possible. I want to be in love with leisure and living life.
I don’t want life to pass me by. I want to be the 70 year old woman sitting in the sun reading or doing a puzzle because it makes me happy.
And I want to look back on all of the fun we had living life. I want there to be memories of patio sittin’ while sipping coffee and kids piled in my lap watching movies all night.
I don’t want to look back and say, “damn those dishes were always done and I swept my floor every single day for 50 years and I DAMN SURE never missed seeing Karen’s daily cat picture.”
What do you want life to look like for the next 50 years? How are you going to make that happen?
I know there’s quite a few changes I’ll be making myself. And I hope you’ll start enjoying more leisure time with me ❤️