If you’re reading this, you probably have an infant or toddler who is like a baby sloth. A child who hangs on you, never letting go, always keeping you at a fingertips length distance. The one you call your clingy child. This is a letter of support to you mama.
I know how tired you are
I know how draining it can be to never get a break. And when you finally do, just to run an errand, your anxiety is through the roof because you know your child is probably throwing a fit for whoever they’re with.
Yeah, that was my reality too with my middle child. (Notice I said was) Bless her sweet little heart 🙃 on top of being clingy and only liking mom, she was breastfed – and hated bottles or cups. So she was even more attached.
If you saw me, you saw Mia – at least for the first 3 years of her life. If she wasn’t with me, she was with dad, my mom, or my sister screaming her guts out because I was nowhere to be found – after she realized I was gone.
Now as she got a little older, closer to 2 I’d say, she was a little bit better about not screaming the whole time, but nonetheless still didn’t want to be away from me for too long. And I’m talkin’ less than an hour.
I know your days are long
They seem never ending. And if you’re nursing, the nights are even longer. Having a child who constantly wants to be beside you or in your lap can make the day drag by. I mean come on, you’re carrying around a baby sloth for crying out loud. An extra 20-40 pounds is added to your side everyday.
My clingy child wasn’t a kid that sat and played keeping her self entertained with toys, or even her big brother. I couldn’t even use the restroom without Mia sitting on my lap.
What made me share this with you
I realized I needed to talk about all this when I sat down on the toilet yesterday holding my 7 month old. I thought to myself “wow I’ve never done this with him before. I could’ve just sat him on the floor or in the other room first”. I never would’ve been able to do that with my clingy, overly attached child.
I’m writing this letter because I remember how long those days were. I remember how tired I was.
When will it end?
No one can tell you for sure, but I’ll tell you when I noticed a change in mine.
When my clingy child was 17 months old, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrifed. For no other reason except for the way Mia would handle it. That’s how overly attached she was.
That pregnancy unfortunately ended in a miscarriage, which you can read more about here. So I’m not sure how it would’ve been having a newborn and a clingy 17 month old.
But about a year later, I conceived again. Not as nervous this time around, but still pretty nervous. I decided to wean Mia from breastfeeding when I was about 2 months pregnant. She was about 2.5 at the time. (read more breastfeeding tips here)
Weaning her was a little difficult because this was our first time trying again since before the miscarriage, but after she did she wasn’t as clingy.
Isaac was born 3 days after Mia turned three years old.
The change in her seemed almost instant.
She was no longer attached to my hip. She was attached to the baby. She was no longer my needy 2 year old. She was my 3 year old big sister.
The years are short
Now I’m not telling you that another baby is your fix. Or that it’s when they turn 3. But what I’m telling you is that these hard days don’t last forever. You won’t miss them, but you will wish for a few more cuddles.
Because lately, those snuggles from my once clingy child, come far and few between. She is the most independent 3.5 year old I could’ve ever imagined her being.
It is hard work to be the mama of a clingy child but you are that baby’s mama for a reason. For a reason that says you can handle it. God did that on purpose. This baby is special and needs all of your attention right now.
I’m not gonna say “enjoy it while it lasts” or “it’ll be over soon” but, I will say it shouldn’t last forever. You are a badass mama. And your clingy baby is perfect. Embrace the sloth in them. Embrace the fact that you were chosen to be their mama.
Keep on keepin’ on and connect with me on Instagram.