If you thought that stay at home moms were laying in bed eating cupcakes and drinking mimosas while shopping online all day, ya thought wrong.
*This post isn’t an argument over if stay at home moms are more tired than working moms because Lord knows we all be tired. They’re just two different types of tired, and this one just happens to be for the stay at home mama tired.
Why are stay at home moms so tired?
As stay at home moms we get stuck in a routine. A routine of doing the same thing for everybody every single day. It’s exhausting. And sometimes in a moment of exhaustion, we feel like giving up.
I don’t think any of us actually *believe* we’ll give up, we just feel like “man how can I keep doing this..how can I keep going? Ugh I’m so done until someone appreciates me! ” Sound familiar to you?
My typical day might also sound familiar.
And yeah, I’m gonna list it ALL. Ok not all of it because what don’t we freaking do all day?
• Wake up and down some coffee
• Get the oldest fed and ready for school
• Wake up and load the littles
• School drop off
• Feed the littles (and hopefully myself)
• Occasional grocery store trip
• Nurse the baby
• Play with the toddler
• Nurse again
• Do the dishes
• Sweep the floor
• Do some laundry
• Make the bed
• Pick up the toys
• Lunch time
• Nap time
• Straighten up the house
• Some more nursing
• School pick up line
• Snacks for everybody
• Play with the kids
• Get dinner started
• Probably nursed 15 times by now
• Sign the folder, do the homework
• Eat dinner, baths, bedtime
• Clean up the kitchen AGAIN
• Sweep the floors AGAIN
• Straighten up the house AGAIN
• nurse the baby AGAIN
• If your lucky, shower and bedtime for you
And those are just the main points
Not even counting all the butt wiping, spill cleaning, and booboo kissing we’re doing. We’re constantly go, go, go. We don’t get those hour long lunch breaks or commutes in the car without the kids. We don’t get daily adult interaction other than Facebook.
I recently wrote another post on feeling overwhelmed as a mom. If that sounds like you, you can check out that blog here later.
We don’t feel appreciated
We feel like we don’t get the recognition we deserve for the work that we do. We feel like we should be told everyday “I see you..thank you” and if we don’t, well they obviously don’t see how hard we work for them.
But that’s the thing. They DO see us. They DO appreciate us. Life is just busy and those words don’t always come out in clear sentences. They happen in other ways like the random out of the blue “thanks babe for all you do” or “you’re the best mom ever”.
The recognition happens when your baby snuggles up to your chest and falls fast asleep. When your spouse says “don’t worry babe I got it”. When your middle child wants mommy and only mommy at bedtime.
The recognition is the trust your family has in you. You are their rock and safe place. They know moms got it covered. They know they’ll have a clean home to play in and food to eat. Because MOM IS THE BOMB.
Even though we don’t hear those words as often as we like, they’re there. You just have to look a little harder to see them.
Look at it from your husbands perspective.
I think sometimes we tend to forget that our spouse has a lot going on too. He’s working outside of the home, possibly in the heat all day, maybe worried about making ends meet, and probably dealing with some bullshit at work.
Do you praise him everyday when he gets home from work? Probably not. Those words don’t always come out of our mouths either. But we appreciate them right? We show them how thankful we are in other ways.
We make sure they come home to a decently cleaned house, clean clothes to work in, food to eat. We greet them with a cold drink in the afternoon. We take them lunch when they need it. We do all of these things because we love them and appreciate them.
Whenever we’re able to put ourselves in their shoes and look at it from their perspective, we see things a lot clearer. You’ll be able to see that you are appreciated even if it’s not said out loud everyday.
Kids are kids.
They’re not going to notice how hard you work because to them, that’s just what moms do. They know no different. But like I said above, you know they are grateful because of the love they have for you.
When they’re a bit older and start helping around the house, then they’ll start realizing all you do. They’ll probably whine and complain about doing it without actually thanking you. But they’ll get a taste of what you’ve been doing for them they’re whole life haha.
I just want you to know how great you are.
You are so appreciated and I know how hard you work for your family. I know why you are tired. I know why you push yourself to the extreme. I know you love your family and love being able to take care of them.
I also know you want to be recognized for all you do. So this is your recognition for the day.
You are such an awesome stay at home mom. Keep going and remember they are so grateful for how you take care of them.
Also remember that it’s ok to tell your spouse how you’re feeling. Communication is so important. If you’re feeling unappreciated, voice that to your spouse so they can tell you in their own words how much they DO appreciate you. You’d be surprised that sometimes, that’s all it takes.
Try not to do it in a “raised tone, you don’t appreciate me” way though. Do it in a “hey babe I’ve had a long day. Can you tell me that I’m doing an awesome job” way.
The next time you see a sahm, tell her she’s awesome.
Let’s remember to recognize each other. The more we support one another, the less we’ll feel unappreciated. Make sure to connect with me on social media so we can stay in touch and support each other.
With love, Lauren.