How To Transition To A Family Of Four. Thoughts You Have When Pregnant With Your Second Baby.

Toddler and baby laying down in floral heart - how to become a family of four

What will it be like having two kids?

When pregnant with your second baby, you often wonder how the transition will be. I personally was so nervous about having two kids. I remember the worries I had so I want to share them with you mama, so you know you’re not alone!

I knew I could do it, and you probably do too, but as moms we still have our worries.

How much work was it going to be having two kids? How was I going to juggle a toddler, a newborn, and keep up with the house? How would my oldest react to our change?

All of these different questions came to my mind. So, I want to answer some of those for you and hopefully help ease your mind about the future.

After you’ve had your first baby, you’ve pretty much got this whole mom thing down.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it. You know what to expect with a newborn and the different milestones that will happen.

You’re no longer nervous about learning to take care of a new baby; for the most part lol. The new task at hand is learning to juggle a newborn and an older sibling.

Little girl giving thumbs up next to baby brother
Thumbs up for siblings!

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My family’s transition to two was the greatest.

When Mia was born, my oldest was 3 and a half years old. For us, this was an awesome age gap. We loved being able to enjoy Jo alone for such a long time. And then once he was out of the “baby” stage, Mia came along with her baby snuggles!

Of course Jo still our baby but he became so independent. He was very helpful with grabbing diapers and things I needed quickly.

He could entertain himself for short periods of time and for the most part was very independent. I’m so thankful for that because it made the transition to two A LOT easier.

Finding time for your oldest won’t be as hard as hard as you think it will.

You’re probably worried about not having enough time for your oldest. It only seems it’ll be that way because your attention has been centered solely on them for however long now.

You’ll still have plenty of time for your older child.

You probably won’t be on the floor sitting with them as often as you are used to and that’s ok. There will be new ways to spend time with them.

You can include them in taking care of the baby by letting them grab diapers, hold a bottle if they can, and any other jobs that they can handle.

Including your older child helps a lot with keeping them busy and not feeling left out.

It will also make your alone time with them so much more precious. I love when we get the chance for mommy and me dates. Take advantage of those where you can. Even if it’s just a quick trip to the store for you two!

Accept the help when it’s offered.

The backside of two toddlers looking out into the view

Speaking of help (other than a 3 year old haha), remember that it is amazing! The more people you have offering to lend a hand – the better.

So accept it and don’t be stubborn! I say this because I know how hardheaded I am when it comes to letting someone help me.

I hate asking people for it and I hate accepting it because I don’t ever want to put anyone out.

Baby wearing an infant

Sometimes we help others so much that we forget it’s ok to lean on somebody for a moment. I talk a bit more about asking for and accepting help in this blog here.

Raising kids is hard freaking work and it takes a damn village. People are not kidding when they say that. You may feel like you don’t have a village, but trust me, you DO.

It may be small but as long as you have SOME help some of the time, be thankful for it. Appreciate it and know that sometimes less is more. There’s a reason for everything.

Is sibling rivalry a thing?

I honestly don’t think there was a time when I was worried about my son being jealous of the new baby.

He was so excited to become a big brother. Before we even conceived, as a family we talked about the idea of having a sibling. He was never jealous when she first arrived and has been in love with her from the beginning.

And he’s been the same way even with the third baby added in!

Brother kissing baby sister on head

We included him a lot during the first pregnancy (and of course the others! Lol) and got him pretty pumped up about becoming a big brother. I think this helped a lot.

It wasn’t like this baby just popped up out of the blue and stole the spotlight, ya know. We made the baby a big, exciting deal and still made sure he knew that HE was a big, exciting part of it too.


Jk. But it would be nice. Not gonna lie y’all, my house is a BIG priority to me. I love a clean home. I love for things to be in their place, I love clean floors, and an empty sink. But in reality, I know that’s not always going to be the case because I’m a mom and there’s 4 other freakin humans that live here with me.

Do not stress yourself over keeping up with the housework. Especially with a newborn in the house. You are not a lazy mom. You are not slacking. Having dirty dishes in the sink and backed up laundry does not make you a bad mom.

Ok read that again.. just to be sure you got it.

Having a supportive partner and those extra hands around really helps you learn to manage 2 kids plus housework. Take it slow, clean as you find the time (and have the energy) and know that your cleaning routine will resume one day……when…..well I have no clue when so good luck! Haha just kidding, but I hear it’s when they move out.

Baby wearing IS LIFE

Baby wearing mei tai
Wearing baby Mia with a Mei Tai carrier

If you don’t baby wear, start YouTubing and Googling now! Hands free is the way to be when it comes to caring for a newborn. Especially with having two kids to care for. I love a Moby Wrap for the beginning stages. It keeps them snuggled up close and warm to your chest (or back!) while you get some things done. It’s great to use around the house, grocery shopping (so your buggy has space), and anywhere you are with baby.

So how is the transition?

It is the most wonderful feeling in the world to see not one, but TWO beautiful babies that you’ve created. Seeing your oldest become a big sibling will make you realize just how grown up they are.

They will immediately become more independent over night. They will melt your heart at how much they love their new baby (even if it takes some time).

Transitioning isn’t hard. You jump right into it after birth. Just like when you were pregnant with your first born and had no clue what you were doing but you figured it out.

Your motherly instincts kick in and take over. They will do the same thing this time around.

Infant and toddler in middle of rose petals shaped like a heart

But having two kids is tough work y’all. You’re adding a whole ‘nother freakin human to the house. That equals more butts to wipe, more laundry, taking longer to load and unload the car, and taking longer to get dressed.

Remember that things will change and that’s ok. Change is a good thing and bringing a new family member into the world is a great thing. Change is scary but so worth it!

If you have or have had a fear while pregnant with baby number two, three, or more, I’d love for you to leave a comment and share with us! Till next time mama, peace!

5 thoughts on “How To Transition To A Family Of Four. Thoughts You Have When Pregnant With Your Second Baby.

    1. Haha, I totally understand that one! My middle child had just turned 3 when my youngest was born and those two together are a handful! I feel like the extra half a year between my first two made a big difference in my sanity! Lol

      1. Omg yes… lol but now because they grew up together so close in age… they are extremely close even though one is a boy and other a girl…. thank goodness for my older girl, really helped keep her brother in check!

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